Author Kate Codrington re-frames the subject as we celebrate the release of her new book, Second Spring.
There appears to be mass cultural gas lighting around perimenopause and menopause. We’re supposed to either shut up and get on with it or, if we insist on adequate care, take HRT and stop complaining. Still suffering? It’s probably our fault because we’re not eating right or exercising enough. The vulnerability and loss we feel are too ‘greige’ to be worth attending to seriously. When not gas lighting, we are fighting menopause. Going at it like a war on terror, as something to be defeated. Like all wars, this shuts down dialogue and deepens injustice and suffering.
There’s an equivalent menopause blind spot in the publishing industry, which is only now slowly waking to the awareness that a fifth of the population are menopausal or postmenopausal, better educated and more discerning than ever before. Books on pregnancy, diet and exercise are endlessly re-invented, but menopause is passed over. Don’t even get me started on postmenopause.
Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause was born out of the real, lived experiences of my clients who found that, paradoxically, while they felt they were losing their minds, ultimately menopause made them feel more like their true selves. I witness much suffering because people feel they are getting it wrong and feel shame about ageing, which only fans the flames of their already over-heated bodies. In Second Spring I share a map of women’s lives that shows how we can develop trust in ourselves, and find our way to a vibrant postmenopause, which I call ‘second spring’. This book is packed with a generous self-care toolkit, a pic ’n’ mix of ideas and practices to choose from whether you’re using HRT or not. With a seasonal structure, the self-care for perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause becomes easily accessible and obvious to all.
Just like the seasons of the year in the northern hemisphere, our lives follow seasons too. We want to go out more in spring and summer and stay home more in autumn and winter. In our teens and 20s, our life spring, we want to go out and explore, in our 30s, our life summer, to conquer the world. Perimenopause in our 40s brings the questioning years of life autumn, with life winter the deep menopause of reflection. The postmenopause is a whole new cycle bringing potential for renewed creativity and vitality: second spring. Understanding the qualities of each season gives us access to do-able, daily kindness for ourselves.
The perimenopause and menopause years are a time of vulnerability for sure, but there are benefits too. Once the ‘veil of oestrogen is lifted’ our boundaries improve, we get clearer about what we want and who we are, our values become our guiding focus and we can work together to achieve them with less conflict. Menopause has the potential to become your bespoke personal growth solution.
Second Spring reminds us that we are enough. Once we give ourselves permission to take even a little of what we need, we can receive the softness and space in midlife to figure out our next steps towards more fun and fulfilment.
Menopausal folk are not broken. Just like puberty or pregnancy we’re in between ways of being; we’re on our way to a whole new cycle of life and on this journey we are in need of a little more self-sweetness, self-care and self-compassion.
Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause is out now.
