Grammar’s a funny old thing. We’re delighted to have Michael Arndt, author of Snails and Monkey Tails on the blog today, discussing the ever-so-important comma.
This PUNctuation riff on the popular 1980s’ song, by Boy George and Culture Club, is expressive of just how versatile the little comma is. After all:
It is a grammatical alchemist: Much like a chameleon can change [colour] depending on what surrounds it, a comma can change [its role], and in doing so, the meaning of the sentence.
It is popular: A comma is by some estimation the most frequently used punctation mark in the English language, surpassing even the ubiquitous period, as multiple commas can appear within one sentence.
And it is old: Ancient Greek speech writers used commas, periods, and colons not for reasons of grammar, but of diction. These marks indicated where—and for how long—the orator should pause. This was at a time when written Greek had no word spaces, grammatical punctuation, or lowercase letters. The pauses were in direct correlation to how long the adjacent phrase was. In fact, the Greek words komma, periodos, and kolon referred not to the mark (which were all single dots placed at different heights) but the type and length of phrase itself.
Lastly, it is sometimes missing, misused, or overused. This can create results that can range from humorous to grave: Let’s look at these three categories of mistakes.
MISSING:
The vocative comma is used in direct address, i.e., when speaking directly to someone mentioned by their name. Leave it out at your own peril. The comical example that is often cited is this pair of sentences:
- “Let’s eat, Grandma!” In this sentence you are speaking to your Granny and inviting her to the table to share a meal. You’re a good grandchild.
- Compare with “Let’s eat Grandma!” Without the vocative comma, poor Grandma becomes the object of the verb “eat,” and, well, the meal itself! You are not a good grandchild.
Use vocative commas.
The vocative comma can also come directly after the name; the important thing is that it divides the names of the people being addressed and the words being said to them. Compare:
- “Kids, go home after school.” (a command)
- “Kids go home after school.” (an observation)
The Oxford, or serial comma, is used in a string of three or more items and is the one that comes right after the second to last item. Most of the time it can be left out without causing any confusion:
- “I watched some programs last night on Charles Manson, Son of Sam, Queen Elizabeth, and Betty White.” You have varied tastes in TV shows, but, OK.
- Compare with “I watched some programs last night on two serial killers, Queen Elizabeth and Betty White.” and suddenly two little old ladies have become psychopathic criminals. Who knew?
MISUSED:
Anyone who has spent time on social media has probably come across the story of the professor who wrote the following words on the blackboard and asked her co-ed students to punctuate them.
A woman without her man is nothing.
Most men wrote, “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
Most women wrote, “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Words have meaning and so does punctuation. Words and punctuation can also cut, and I am not talking about comma splices.
OVERUSED:
Unless you are William Shatner, you probably can’t, get away, with, using too, many commas, without, annoying, people around you.
Also, consider the following menu item.
Salad of the day: rocket, goat, cheese, beets, walnuts, vinaigrette.
This may be appetizing to some people, but most people (and goats) would prefer that there be no comma between goat and cheese.
Salad of the day: rocket, goat cheese, beets, walnuts, vinaigrette.
More palatable to vegetarians and grammarians alike. I happen to love goat cheese, but if you want to play it safe with your dinner guests and English teachers, leave out the goat cheese altogether from both the salad and the sentence.
Sometimes, a series of commas renders a sentence hard to follow and it is better to replace some with a stronger divider, i.e., a semicolon. Since Rome, Italy needs a comma to divide the city from the country, the following sentence reads better with semicolons between pairs of cities and countries. On our Mediterranean cruise, we visited Lisbon, Portugal; Rome, Italy; and Athens, Greece.
Grammar rules aside, in 2022, commas can still be used as they were in Ancient Greece to, you know, separate parts of sentences, and, well, to replicate speaking patterns or to direct readers where they should pause.
If you like commas, punctuation, and/or funny animal names being used to refer to punctuation, then you may be interested in SNAILS & MONKEY TAILS: A VISUAL GUIDE TO PUNCTUATION & SYMBOLS, available from HQ on 8 December, 2022.
